Friday, April 29, 2016

From the comfy chair

Well, it's been a rough week in Jays Land, hasn't it? Hope you got all your frustration out in yesterday's misery thread. Feel free to return there if you've still got that dark cloud hanging over your head.

In terms of the JITH trip, the consensus seemed to be the Houston series in August. There seemed to be a preference for the Friday night game. Would like confirmation on that. There was a suggestion of looking into getting one of the party rooms but I'm not sure how that will work for people financially.

For some people, a weeknight worked better. Do we want to try for a separate weeknight outing that would happen earlier? There's Texas next week and the Rays from May 16-18. I doubt those games are sold out so we wouldn't need to get enough people to buy group tickets. I'm interested in your thoughts.

Also keep in mind that nego will be in town next weekend for the Dodgers series. Would there be interest in getting together at a bar after the Saturday game?

The question of ads on the site came up again. Just to reiterate, ads caused my older mobile electronics all kinds of problems on Andrew's old site. I also really like the idea of a community site being ad free. If you wish to financially support the site, you can do so through a straight donation, subscribe to have an amount taken out every month, or purchase items from Amazon through the search link. All three are on the right sidebar.

Lastly, if you haven't read it yet, I strongly recommend the piece Stacey May Fowles wrote about #MoreThanMean yesterday. I thought about writing about it for yesterday's post but decided against it for the reasons she outlines. This is personal for me. It's the reason I'm the "cartoon lady", the reason I didn't post the photo of me and Doc, the reason I don't publicize this site on my personal social media accounts.

I trust the people of this community, which is why when I communicate with you offline you get my actual email address. Since I'm using yours, I figure there has to be reciprocal openness. However, the stats show me there are other people reading here. It only takes one asshole to decide that I know nothing and have to be silenced, one asshole to get their knickers in a knot because a woman dares to write about baseball, and my life could be turned into a living hell. I've seen some of the shit Stacey May gets. Last year we all saw some of the shit Joanna gets. I love you all but it's not worth it to me. So I'll continue to not publicize my own writings and keep this place publicly separated from the rest of my life. It's a horrible bargain but that's what it must be for my mental health.

The only way that is ever going to change is to make the price so high for the jerks who do this shit that they stop. Right now it's the people being harassed who have to bear all the cost. And it has to be other men who change this. The "dudez" who do this have no respect for women so what we say doesn't matter.

I'm not sure what is the best way to do this. I just know that ignoring the trolls doesn't fix it. Blocking someone doesn't stop them from saying shit about you and now you have no idea what they're saying. They usually escalate when you ignore them because they also carry a belief that they are entitled to your attention. For some reason, this becomes a personal crusade for the harasser and they won't stop until they've either silenced you or made it impossible for anyone to listen to you.

I know you all value the women who post here. I'm asking you to be the change in the wider internet as well. At least, let's keep the conversation going.