A big city lawyer named Joe went duck hunting out in rural Newfoundland. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.
As Joe climbed over the fence, a farmer named Mark drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
Joe responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
Mark replied, "This is my property, b'y, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in Canada and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
Mark smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes around here. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'"
Joe asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
Mark replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
Joe quickly thought about the proposed contest and figured he could handle the farmer. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
Mark climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into Joe's groin and dropped him to his knees! His second kick to the midriff sent Joe's last meal gushing from his mouth. Joe was on all fours when Mark's third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
Joe summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to get to his feet.
Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, buddy. Now it's my turn."
Mark smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."
