'To my brother, Tom, who always stood with me, I leave the house and $2 million,' Wince reads.
'To my son, Smasher, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave the yacht, the business and $1 million.'
'And finally,' the lawyer concludes, 'to my cousin Joe, who hated me, argued with me and thought I would never mention him in my will. Well, you were wrong. Hi Joe!'
