During his physical, the doctor asked the patient about his daily activity level
He described a typical day this way: "Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake, drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake, marched up and down several rocky hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand and took four leaks behind big trees."
Inspired by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one hell of an outdoors man!"
"Nah," he replied, "I'm just a shitty golfer."