Tuesday, June 30, 2020

MLB in 2020?

Dear MLB:




Don't be dumb

Possible pandemic #2 coming, but hey, let's play some baseball!

I mean, this is a baseball blog, and we all love baseball and the Blue Jays, but for fuck's sake, take your goddamn blinders off. Spend a second or two in the real world. It'll do wonders for ya.

Ryan Zimmerman, Joe Ross, and Mike Leake have opted out, and breaking...(as of 11:34 PM)...Ian Desmond has too. Complete with a looong, thoughtful post on his Instagram page. Very impressive, insightful, and heartfelt. A great read. We need more of this, and less head in the sand/we need to return to life the way it was twaddle.

It would be a wonderful distraction to have baseball back, but at what cost? On other sites, I hear people talking about how baseball got people through multiple wars, the Great Depression, 9/11, etc, etc, etc. Why can't it do that now?

*Channels Goliath, the talking dog from the show "Davey and Goliath" - note - curse words are mine because that show was clean as a whistle, kind of Mr. Rogers' Neighbourhood-like, but with clay animation instead of humans* "Well Davey, there's an extremely fucking contagious pandemic happening right now, the economy's in the shitter, and lots of important social upheaval that has been bubbling under the surface for a fuck of a long time has erupted in the last five weeks or so."

"In short, it's kind of like that 'Bull Durham' scene where the entire team is out on the mound when Crash Davis turns to coach Larry Hockett, and says 'We're dealing with a lot of shit here'. However, instead of trivial shit like jammed eyelids, live roosters, and not knowing what to get Millie or Jimmy for their wedding present, this is very important shit that you humans really need to work on, and come up with some very creative solutions for. If you don't start heading in the right direction, things could get really ugly, really fast."

"You guys have got to work together to get this pandemic under control, get the economy back on its feet, get your shit together, and start getting along as a species. You need to recognize that the world will function a helluva lot better when everybody has just as much of a chance as those uber-rich, straight, white dudes that are running the show right now. At the moment, they're scared, trying to hold on for dear life to all the advantages, and privileges they enjoy, while the ground is shifting beneath their feet. They're not used to this kind of turmoil and uncertainty, and it's got them all out of sorts."

"You can wish things would go back to the way they were all you want, but it's a waste of time because the way things were is long gone Davey. Focus on what is. Following the path back to simpler times might also play into the hands of those rich, straight, white, male pricks, and believe me, you don't want that. That's probably exactly what they want you to do. Bread and circuses baby! I'm feeling a little tired and overwhelmed right now, so if you don't mind, I'm gonna head for that blanket and rawhide bone y'all gave me for Christmas, and take a nap. If you need me, you know where to find me. Good luck kid." *Davey runs crying and screaming to his mother Elaine.*...and scene.

Well, this post turned out to be a helluva lot longer than I thought it would be. I blame Ian Desmond for being such a wonderful, thoughtful, sensitive, and articulate human being. It was only supposed to be a short, sweet fuck you MLB post with some GIFs, and look what happened. Ian, wherever you are, you've got some 'splaining to do!

Real Davey and Goliath:

Simpson's version (Gravey and Jobriath):

Yer doin' a heckuva job MLB:

Your grasp of reality is an inspiration to us all:

This is one of the images that comes to mind for me when I think of your efforts to get back to business when you shouldn't be getting back to business:

MLB's current standing in the sports world:

Hey Manfred!:

WAKE UP MLB!!! Signed,

Yer boy Tom