Jays in the House: just win you assholes

Showing posts with label just win you assholes. Show all posts

Sunday, September 8, 2019

#144 - Toronto Blue Jays (55-88) at Tampa Bay Rays (85-59)

Can the Rays play like the old Devil Rays for once?

Sunday, September 8, 2019 | 1:10 pm ET

Tropicana Field | Saint Petersburg, Florida

Tyler Glasnow (6-1, 1.86, 0.91) vs. Jacob Waguespack (4-3, 3.97, 1.27)

PREAMBLE:

The Blue Jays gave it a good fight in yesterday's third game, but ultimately lost again. They're still 0-for-September and look to salvage the finale of a four-game series this afternoon against the Rays.

Jacob Waguespack looks to snap a two-game losing streak and get back on the winning track as he takes the ball for the Jays, facing off against 6'8" Tyler Glasnow, who is returning from a long stint on the injury list. Glasnow, who will likely be limited to about 50 pitches or so, is a career 0-2, 7.41 in four starts against the Jays.

#74 - Los Angeles Angels (37-37) at Toronto Blue Jays (26-47)

Wednesday, June 19, 2019 | 7:07 pm

Rogers Centre | Toronto, Ontario

PREAMBLE:

After two losses to open this series against the Angels, the Blue Jays look to combine some decent-enough offence (as in game 1) and pitching (as in game 2) into one game for once and come away with a win.

Aaron Sanchez ponders which finger ailment will pop up tonight as he takes the ball for the Jays, going up against Andrew Heaney.

#55 - Toronto Blue Jays (21-33) at Tampa Bay Rays (32-19)

Tuesday, May 28, 2019 | 7:10 pm

House of Horrors | Tampa, Florida

Clayton Richard (0-0, 2.25, 1.00) vs. Ryne Stanek (0-1, 3.18, 1.06)

PREAMBLE:

Just as the game started to appear within reach of the Blue Jays in yesterday's series opener, the Rays yanked back the $20 on a string and the game got out of control in the end. Today, the Jays look to avoid getting stringed along and even up the series.

Clayton Richard had a decent first start last week and looks to build upon that with, hopefully, a longer outing as he takes the ball for the Jays tonight. His counterpart, Ryne Stanek, is opening the game for the Rays for about the 897th time in the past two years (or so it seems).

#53 - San Diego Padres (28-24) at Toronto Blue Jays (20-32)

Hey, maybe their good fortune will rub off on the Jays today...

Sunday, May 26 , 2019 | 1:07 pm

Rogers Centre | Raptorland, ON

~~Chris Paddack~~ Robbie Erlin (0-0, 3.63, 1.16) vs. Marcus Stroman (2-6, 2.81, 1.34)

PREAMBLE:

Oh, there's a ballgame today? 90% of Toronto wouldn't even notice. Blue Jays, who?

Marcus Stroman takes the ball today as the Jays look to avoid getting swept by the Padres. ~~Hotshot rookie and intense cowboy Chris Paddack~~ Robbie Erlin is on the hill for the Pads, a late switch after Paddack was scratched with a stiff neck -- no wonder, he got whiplash watching the 7 HRs getting torched out of the ballpark in yesterday's game.

#7 - Baltimore Orioles (4-1) vs. Toronto Blue Jays (2-4)

You decide what 'shitbirds' refer to here.

Wednesday, April 3, 2019 | 4:07 pm

Rogers Centre | Toronto, ON

Nate Karns (0-0, 0.00, 2.00) vs. Matt Shoemaker (1-0, 0.00, 0.57)

PREAMBLE:

The Blue Jays look to avoid being swept in the finale of a three-game series against the Orioles. Yes, the Orioles. Yes, the team that went 47-115 in 2018.

Matt Shoemaker is today's designated hard-luck starter as he goes up against Nate Karns in a rare 4:07 pm weekday game.

no. 145 - Toronto Blue Jays (65-79) at Boston Red Sox (99-46)

Imagine if the Red Sox still hasn't won a championship since 1918... here's an artist's rendition of
Fenway Park after the rats finish gobbling through the park as the fans have abandoned them.

Wednesday, September 12, 2018 | 7:10 pm

Piss-Stained Pinball Stadium | East Massholia, MA

Aaron Sanchez (4-5, 5.17, 1.61) vs. Dead-to-Us Price (14-6, 3.57, 1.13)

PREAMBLE:

Game one of the scheduled September Beantown Beatdown went, naturally, the Red Sox's way after we were teased for almost seven innings by a great start from Ryan Borucki.

Tonight, the man who rallied the players together during the fabled 2015 stretch drive with his gift of bathrobes to each teammate, David Price, takes the mound to face Aaron Sanchez who is coming off a nice outing against the Rays.

Price is merely 20-3, 2.52 lifetime against the Jays. How soon can Vlad Jr. get here? He seems like the type who would eat lefthanders for lunch.

#139 - Tampa Bay Rays (75-63) @ Toronto Blue Jays (62-76)

Hey, we got to hold onto *something* that we have that the Rays don't, right? Other than fans.

Wednesday, September 5, 2018 | 7:07 pm

The House That Tampa Is Welcome To Shit On Anytime | Toronto, ON

Tyler Glasnow (0-2, 3.23, 0.85) vs. Aaron Sanchez (3-5, 5.22, 1.63)

PREAMBLE:

The Rays continue to make themselves very much at home in the Jays' sandbox, kicking sand all over the Blue Jays. The final amount of sand being dumped on our boys continues tonight in the finale of a three-game mauling. The lack of fans attending the first two games of this series only serves to further the home-field advantage for the Rays here since they're well-used to playing in front of a mere 700 or so people.

Aaron Sanchez tries to salvage what's left of this miserable season for him as he goes up against Tyler Glasnow.

#133 - Toronto Blue Jays (60-72) vs. Baltimore Orioles (39-94)

Wednesday, August 29, 2018 | 7:05 pm

Oriole Park at Camden Yards | Baltimore, Maryland

Ryan Borucki (3-3, 4.12, 1.53) vs. Alex Cobb (4-15, 5.00, 1.41)

PREAMBLE:

Well, we might see something exceedingly rare tonight: An Orioles series sweep. They haven't swept a team all season. Wouldn't that be so 2018 Blue Jays if that happened?

The Blue Jays are looking to get back on the winning track and make for a happier flight to Miami. I wouldn't want to be on that plane tonight if they lose this one.

Ryan Borucki goes for the Jays as he looks to continue where he left off with a strong start against the Phillies his last time out after a few tough starts in a row. He goes against noted high-kicker Alex Cobb who has occasionally been tough against the Jays in past years as a Tampa Bay Ray. This year, Cobb got lit up big time his first time against the Jays and was meh his second time.